The Light, a Hope Wished For

I was going through a fellow bloggers post, when I came across one of his write-ups; that reminded me one of my experiences in the similar lines.

Those were the days when interns began, which required commuting between Double Road and Girinagar [in Bangalore, Wipro Infotech office was located at the former location, and college hostel at the latter]. For a day or two, I took an easier way out and went around by autos. But I figured that the auto guy took me on a jolly ride at times, plus I wanted to so go out and commute in the buses. I love traveling by bus, all by myself, with breeze hitting my face, and I retreating to my world.

I picked up courage on the 3rd day, and decided to return back home by bus. Since didn’t pay attention to the locality on the first 2 days, I went about asking people, and guards of showrooms about the nearest bus stop. When I reached the bus stop, I felt totally helpless, with the language barrier at its max and not knowing which bus plies on what route. After asking several bus conductors and frequently looking at the watch [it clocked 6:15 pm, in all the questioning, and had hostel limits clicking away] one bus driver simply asked me to climb on and he said he’d leave me at the Shantinagar bus depot. I asked how much, he said Rs. 3/- but he refused to take it, and simply smiled back. Little did I know then that the bus depot was hardly 200 meters, and a walk-able distance. There is where “The Light, a Hope Wished For” appeared.

Maybe I was looking so horrendous and screwed up, I have no idea, but that’s the best bet; when I asked which bus goes to Girinagar, pat came the reply it just went by and that was the last bus. I was in 2 minds, whether stay and look at options, or abandon my high-spirits for today. I was still thinking when the lady who replied about the bus just leaving, pulled my hand and said ‘come along, this bus will take you till there’.

On the bus, she introduced herself as Jyoti, when we struck a conversation. She was some 26 year old, who resided at Srinagar [btw a locality in Bangalore is called the same, and it isn’t J&K] and I didn’t realize her intentions, till she got down at Lalbagh West Gate. That was coz that bus would take her upto her stop, but she decided to help me, and tell me about the bus routes and the transit points if I missed the slot. I never before felt so embarrassed and thankful to a stranger at the same time. She advised I learn the local language to avoid being cheated by people, and she helped me right upto Sita Circle [My hostel was a walk-able 15 mins from this stop].

Though I didn’t really learn Kannada, and my vocabulary restrains to words of necessity; yet that one day is so memorable in my life. Thanks to Jyoti I traveled by BMTC buses every day after that one. I have wonderful memories to cite, and replay in my mind. Thanks to Jyoti, I noted the bus routes that took me to my destination. Thanks to Jyoti, who sensed some apprehension in me, and decided to help this stranger all the way. She acted out of her limits, and I salute the humanness. How so I wished everyday on that bus route 36 C, I could spot Jyoti and smile back at her and thank her. But she just lighted away my nerve and disappeared.

'3 Idiots'

Though unconventionally, the title would suggest; a premature review of the movie! However this has nothing to do with Aamir Khan and the line of producers, actors, etc in the troupe. It is based on real characters and story, a small insight into the foolishness of the ‘3 Idiots’.

Naming the characters, Idiot 1: Myself [better I start with myself], Idiot 2: Ms. P & Idiot 3: Ms. V. The backdrop scene being, 7th semester of Engineering Days and the season being SNAP for Symbiosis [in a country like ours, I suppose further specifying what Symbiosis means, would amplify my idiosyncrasy ;)].The nearest center for SNAP was Nagpur, and in the year 2005, the cold December month, four friends decided to go together to Nagpur; along with scores of fellow aspirants from the city. Half the train bogies were clogged by people we knew either from our college, or sister and rival colleges! Oh btw, a fourth friend, who destiny decided not to be flagged as an ‘Idiot’. Fast forwarding to the location where ‘3 Idiots’ was conceptualized.

It so happened, the ‘3 Idiots’ were given the same venue: school as the examination center, and as we were searching our room numbers, we realized we’ve been allotted the same room. And nobody would believe what happened next. It’s totally unimaginable and a rare stroke of “Destiny’s Wish”! All three of us get seated as follows: Idiot 2 & Idiot 3 are partners for the examination. Idiot 1 sits right in front of Idiot 3, such that Idiot 2 & Idiot 1 are diagonal to each other. And the spacing between the rows was so less, that Idiot 1’s chair was leaning on Idiot 3’s table/desk. The ‘3 Idiots’ seemed to be so totally amused for a very long long time. But now begins the tagging of ‘Idiots’! Idiot 1 was very good in English/Language skills, Idiot 2’s strongest point was Aptitude and Idiot 3 aced in General Knowledge. While the whole room was busy cheating and using unfair means; so much so that communication happened from one end of the room to the other diagonal end, and all kinds of permutations-combinations of cheat paths happened in the network; the ‘3 Idiots’ decided not to go for unfair means; but keep smiling to themselves realizing the seating positions. Once a while glancing here and there and at each other; and a broad grin.

Wonder what stopped us availing the “Destiny’s Wish” and let it go unheard??? All had the formula to success when combined together, and DI/DS to be managed somehow. If only, the ‘Idiots’ syndrome wouldn’t have prevailed and some spirit of ‘Gandhiji’ or ‘Vivekananda’ or ‘Raja Harish Chandra’s’ wouldn’t have stirred our soul, all three of us would have graduated from Symbi as the 2008 batch. When the results were declared, much to being obvious we excelled in our strong areas [by good numbers], and lacked in areas other had the competency for! Though none of us regret our current life positions, yet the heart aches to realize we missed on the Symbi beat!!

Learnt and understood that when the whole world decides to be unfair, and is busy cheating; there’s absolutely no point in you being the lone crusader hoisting the flag of honesty, being truthful and not taking risks!! It’s you who loses out in the end, while everybody is beaming in the new found joy of the outcome. It’s then that idealistic thoughts go down the drains, when the inner peace of mind toils to no avail.

So anybody sitting for any competitive examinations? Maybe I too would be giving that!

Work Life Balance

[P.S.: I am basically an Essay writer, so pardon me for the length of this one. I am indeed making a conscious effort to shorten the next write-ups :P. Thank you for the patience!!! ]

As long as I remember, I have always been an Agnostic, and nobody ever forced me to go to temples, and follow the procedures. Though it was an initial shock to my parents, but they accepted it pretty soon. And it wasn’t that I shunned anybody who had a faith of their own, or would be lurching in the corners to criticize them. Indeed at all times I accepted the offerings, and went about to ever place where God is said to reside for relatives/parents happiness. It was always a matter of personal choices. The only issue that ever pegged me was of the thought when I’d get married, and my in-laws wouldn’t accept; and I would be forced to follow the rituals a Hindu household married woman did, ‘pooja paat’. That’s how a ‘susheel ghar ki bahu’ is described as a woman with high morale and ethics in life. Largely the concerns weren’t nagging, coz I started coming across several people who called themselves ‘Agnostic’.

At the organization I work with, there is a common practice of some 50 employees assembling every morning around 8:30 when the siren goes off, to offer prayers to the Almighty, before beginning an important day with Production. Of the first month, initial 15 days were spent arriving at the workplace 10 mins prior the siren going off. So by the time I’d sit in my seat, in my dept. there would still be 2 minutes more before the siren ringing. And then in the next 15 days, when I realized the 13 km could be comfortably covered in 20 mins, out of my laziness and the Garfield spirit entering into my body; everyday late risings by 10 minutes [yeah the 5 mins more kept pounding my alarm clock after persistent alarms every 5 minutes and being snoozed!!!]. This meant at some days I scurried along such that I missed by 8:20 A.M. entry slot, and walked hurriedly at 8:28 A.M. when some employees and staff gathered for the prayers!! It would almost certainly look like am competing for an Olympic event, and I’d be awarded with a Gold [Ok that’s too much of an exaggeration, a Bronze would do]!

So people did manage to notice my speed and the event I participated in, and I got accolades for it after 2 weeks, when the larger part of Garfield took almost every cell of my soul!! The first response came from my boss, who asked ‘You don’t attend prayers?’ I smiled and thought maybe I could surpass it. The next day I received more laurels for my feat, when the security head who belongs to the HR dept. said ‘Madam, you don’t attend the prayers’. One of my colleagues said, it’s not important to do so, majority don’t, it depends on your wish. I felt a bit comforted hearing this response. But by that time another colleague of another dept. echoed ‘Madam, since you’re of HR Dept., you might as well come to the prayers’! Another HR colleague again bailed me out saying; she’s among the first comers into the office. Though I was coming second these days!

Nevertheless with an anxious night gone by in turmoil and nervousness, I decided to attend the prayers for a day and then try coming to office by 8:20 A.M. So the next morning I stood there among the 30 odd workers of shop floor, and 10 odd staff/officers. It began with some gyan, which a worker has earned reputation for [though people say he rote reads and comes, and he himself doesn’t follow the preaching’s!!] and then after 5 minutes of gyaan from Ramayana – to – some mythological saying – to – Mahabharat – to – Tulsidas/Kalidas – to – self developed; starts the prayers. Now my organization is a devout follower of ‘Shivji’, so everything ranging from Calendars, to temple in the complex, to aarti in the morning in offices, to photo frames are of ‘Shivji-Parwai-Ganesh’. The prayers ask the Almighty to keep showering its blessings on the organization and make it rise high in its profits, achieve a name in country and globally, thus serving the country and making India a proud nation. Fair Enough!!!

Here stands a classic clash between my personal and professional life and decisions. It’s been two decades and I haven’t thought of chanting ‘Shivji’s’ praises [Despite being a Monday born, like my mom loves to quip about with my affinity towards snakes ‘cobras’, and the Monday fasts she keeps for me, ever since I was born]; so forget about praying for anything. And here since I belong to the HR Dept., and we are the one’s who bind the relationship between employees and employers; we need to set examples ourselves. Plus the ‘susheel ladki’ factor! I was a worried lot for almost a week and a half. This is something I just cannot do, I cannot have fake shraddha [Ok I cannot remember an English word for shraddha!] for something; and do things half heartedly coz people expect me to do it. Things started pulling me off, my conscience tearing me apart, my pledge of not going to the Almighty and asking for good times alone was on the rocks.

Nevertheless examining the content of the prayer, it wasn’t alarming to me; since wishing that your organization does well in turn to make your country proud and make the country achieve good GDP [fine no GDP mentioned, but that’s how I interpreted it ;), a little bit of the MBA effects and the 2 semester Economics learning should be portrayed someplace :P] doesn’t prick anybody’s conscience. So that’s how I have started landing up in the morning prayers every morning since past 4 weeks [though some may like to argue that my interests lie primarily in satisfying the Garfield thingy].

But soon the litmus test came my way. Every morning the ‘Gyan’ is given by only one individual, but the prayers are read out by different people; such that he says a few words and the rest follow in a chorus. So one fine morning the ‘Gyan-fellow’ looked at me and said ‘Madamji aaj aap boliye’. I wasn’t expecting this so soon, I recoiled and refused to initiate the prayers. One of my HR colleagues, prayer regulars, said nevermind and he continued to read it. Only to be later told by the same colleague, ‘Madam thoda Hindi mein padhna bhi aana chahiye’. I was speechless, it was like oh man! They think I can’t read Hindi so I refused!!! Shucks!!! [As a repercussion to his belief of me not knowing to read Hindi text, one fine day before Holi, when a notice came regarding announcement of the next day to Holi being a holiday; he asked me to read it. I read and gave it back, only to be asked ‘Hindi padh lete hain?’ I was like why yes, offcourse I can read and write Hindi equally well as I read and write in English. Then he was like ‘Koi baat nahin agli baar prayers bolne ko bolenge, to bol dijiye ga!!’]

Now the funny part is I cannot go around telling people I am an Agnostic. They are all old horses out here, and maybe I already sounded blasphemous the day I refused to read the prayers. I may further end up offending loads many people. So the next time I am asked to read I have to comply with it; or kick the Garfield out of my vicinity for good! Let me see how long I can maintain a perfect balance between my personal and professional life and decisions.

The real test to understand what it means to Work Life Balance; and keeping things in your interest as well as organizations!!!

Lessons in Discrimination start early in life

Never knew I would have to write this so soon and never expected it would happen again to me.

It was a day in school, back in 1996, when I was in class 7. An English class was on, and maybe the teacher Ms. S was correcting notebooks. While the class of 40 were busy chit chatting away to glory, least bothered with the number of times Ms. S kept saying ‘Sshhhh!!!’ I think the sound grew pretty loud, and Ms. S lost it completely. She grew wild, shouted at the class, and as a punishment ordered everybody to stand up. So did the whole lot of us. After second thoughts, she asked me and my bench partner [for some reasons I know off, and my class knew off] to be seated. Well she tried her best to keep me in good humour, but that was the last thing that happened!!! I never even had guts enough those days, or to say on that particular day to remain standing and accept the punishment like rest were doing.

So the situation is out of a class of 40, only 2 gals right in the middle of the room are seated; while the rest of the 38 around her are all still punished!!

I sat and so did my bench partner, and I didn’t have any courage to even look around, coz I knew there were 38 pairs of eyes staring into me. I maintained my sight transfixed to the floor coz I could well imagine the anger in those 38 pairs of eyes, and the humiliation I felt is beyond any description. Honestly speaking, I too was talking, and I had never imagined such things would happen. I lost a lot many things that one day, and it keeps haunting me; those 30 mins of English class even to this day, which forms the bitterest moments of my life.

I don’t blame my classmates, but that horrific incident keeps making me wonder, how cultivation of discrimination starts from an early age. Only it strengthens with age and maturity, and diversifies into other forms. And I believe many people would agree with me, when I say, Lessons in discrimination start from school!!!

Decades later, I was in the same situation again, one fine day at workplace[and this time too I knew the reasons and so did my colleagues]; only this time the anger came out in a vocal sarcastic way hurled at me right on my face. And I felt the same levels of humiliation striking me all over again.

I still don’t blame my colleagues, coz I feel discrimination has no room for justification!!! Wish people learnt to keep up with the morals of equality they preach at the drop of the hat, when ethical conduct is spoken about, to make people better human beings!!!!

The Curious Case of Literal Translation Woes

The recent controversies with ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and the literal translation of ‘Slumdog’ that made a person file a petition; reminds me of one of my own experiences, in the hands of “Literal Translation”.

While at school, we were 4 girls with my namesake; and it so happened in one the coaching classes of Chemistry, I went for in class 11 [when all the IIT buzz sets in]. Let’s name the characters as I, Namesake2, & Namesake3.

One afternoon, Namesake2 and I were having a discussion on some topic I don’t remember very well. By the by the direction headed towards our Physics teacher at school. Mr. Trivedi as I remember was a very dynamic person, with dashing and smart personality, and at the same time stern. Nobody could manage even trying to attempt some hanky-panky business, when he was around. The look on his face would be enough to tell people, “I’m watching, beware!” So here I look at Namesake2 and comment, “If looks could kill”, I pause, look at her perplexed face, and add on “I would be long dead!!!” After some 5 minutes, I see her crackling up with uncontrollable laughter. She repeats “Agar nazare maar sakti, toh tum marr chuki hoti!!”

Tongue in cheek, I am warily looking at her. Before I could manage an explanation, what I actually meant and what the phrase meant, Namesake3 arrives out of nowhere. Namesake3 finds Namesake2 laughing uncontrollably. [yes still!!! And now it’s my turn to look perplexed and uneasy] On further probes Namesake2 decides to share her new found information with Namesake3.

So here is what Namesake2 declares to Namesake3 “Akanksha [I] likes Mr. Trivedi, and unki aakhon ne usse ghayal kar diya hain”. Much to my amusement, it was like an ideal case of ‘foot in mouth’. I felt like somebody just ripped me off, from whatever I was being protected with [read clothes]. Suddenly I wanted to jump off! [I figured out the news would travel far and wide]

I realised that not everything can be said before everybody. There’s a need to first gauge the kind of audience that is present, and how receptive would they be to proverbs/phrases/idioms, or for that matter whatever issue that needs to be talked about. I completely left wording phrases after that fateful day!

The Wrong Person

I walk on that road, I got onto from somewhere. Looking around, and trying to find something familiar, but am greeted by surprises and unexpected things. Once in such days, when I knew not what lay ahead; bumped into this very wrong person, who never was meant to be. Let’s name the person K, who halted my life right in the middle of the alphabetical series. Someone who taught me the extremes of life and how to neutralize the effects, with just one armour – ‘a Smile’. Someone who asked me to just be myself always, at all situations good or ugly. Someone who fed the idea of fighting for myself, for no one else would stand for me. Someone who brought a light to my face, every time we merely communicated or just expressed. Someone I just could always fall back to when I thought nothing seemed visibly clear ahead. It felt like standing below a grand trunk at fall; showering its leaves on me. Each leaf marking its wisdom grown over the years, and leaving a strong impression. I stood mesmerized as if a miracle struck me, whenever I had doubts over my mind. But like the old tree that looses away its glorious years to the age, time came when K and I decided to move on. For it was high time, K had to nurture a new lost soul, picked out in random from a disorderly world. Today in despair, I sometimes try to retrace my footsteps to the point we met. But seems the weather Gods have erased the lines, for they think K did the job very well. By making me capable of discovering new roads without battling an eyelid and panicking in the absence of the strong roots that supported my run and flight.

I shall prove the lessons weren’t in vain, and I learnt them really well. The days I keep reflecting the thoughts that transpired between us, when the need is felt. Though I would miss the shade your magnanimous aura always defined. Nevertheless you were one very wrong person, who made my being right in so many ways. Hey you wrong fellow out there, if I could ever get a chance to cross your garden; I bet you’d see me clutching some lilies, sporting that ‘Smile’, ear to ear.

“Once a while, the wrong turns in life; teach the right ways. The wrong decisions, give rise to space for reconsidering right decisions. The wrong situations you get stuck in, makes you realize how right those concerns were by close ones. And the wrong people, treat you the right ways. Never be dismayed in life, when you went wrong! You never know what’s lying in wait of you, which could change everything beyond imagination. And all that you are left with is some grey matter that holds beautiful memories!”

"Anonymity is the truest expression of altruism." - Eric Gibson